Self Expression Sunday #3

This is a poem I wrote a year ago about feeling needed and validated by my friendships. It’s something that I have struggled with for a very long time. I’m working on placing less value on my relationship with others and more value on myself as an individual. I think that’s the only way I can grow my relationships with other people. I’ve realized that my mental health cannot be sustained without a stable base of self-respect, and in order to gain that self-respect I have to stop changing myself to fit what others want me to be.

Rooted

From a seed,

I grew

Into a tree.

Became a home for birds and bees.

Adorned by flowers and bright green leaves,

Critters came and made a home in me.

To be needed

my only need.

Being loved

my ecstasy.

My branches grew,

so did my roots.

I spent my energy

Making fruit.

Making sure it was sweet.

Making sure they’d want me.

Making sure they’d never leave.

I didn’t grow up alone.

But when the soil dried.

I was on my own.

I did not care 

for my leaves, 

flowers 

Or tasty treats.

My branches heavy with rotting fruit.

I wished desperately to trade my roots

For wings or feet or anything to move.

To not be stuck as a tree.

Forced to sway alone in the breeze.